


Caramacs and Bleach.

by Crissyliz86



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 07:38:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18464449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crissyliz86/pseuds/Crissyliz86
Summary: Not sure how I managed to write 12 Chapter but I actually hate season 3 and although this is fluff and and stuff my creative writing is off as its been a boy 15 years since I last dabbled. So apologies if too long all critism took on the chin.Enjoy.





	1. This is goodbye.

CHAPTER 1 - This is good bye The leavers ball had been a night to remember, the whole had gang danced and sang and cried till the small hours... None of them wanting the night to end knowing 6 weeks from now they approached there new chapters. Finn and Rae both escape the hot stuffy hall slipping through the fire escape and making there way to the beer garden, both laughing staggering around they find a pub bench, Finn sits first and Rae slips onto his knee arms around his neck.....teasing Finn could be fun he was crap at talking he said things better with actions always had, when he couldn't get out his words he used his body his mouth his hands sometimes it was spelling thing out with his for finger on her leg like now as he traced the words I-m-s-o-r-r-y. And sometimes like now as he kissed Rae trying to pour every ounce of sorry and regret and goodbye and I love yous into Raes handing resting on his chest trying to be strong because in this moment she wanted to be with him it would always be him..... Letting the kiss deepen sent her body into despair and longing she knew she'd never resist. Finns trying to stand but Raes 3 snake bites and 6 shots have made her unsteady, trying not break the kiss knowing he may never get her back to the moment he leans up pushing her hips as he stands....she moans gently into his mouth and makes the same sound. "Please Rae let me take you home" Finn whispers whilst nibbling her bottom lip. Raes knees are weak not from amount of alcohol she's consumed but the way Finns just poured himself into her through his kisses she nods at the offer to take her home which home she doesn't care right now. As they stumbles into Finns flat the memory of Katie fucking springer sitting on his bed hits her like a train straight into her chest she stops dead holding on to Finn's hand. The panic edges away Rae decides to ignore it suppressing the memory before turning to Finn and letting him kiss her again..... Knowing this is the last time she holds herself steady ready for the best goodbye she'll ever get. They make love on the floor on the new edition to the flat a green rug with white tassels. Regret seeps in for Rae at around 4.30am realising she shouldn't be here as she wakes from the chill on her bare body with Finn spooned behind her arm draped over her like a piece of art. Slipping his arm off he grumbles but turns over, rae slides the green wool throw of the couch over him tentatively before scooping her clothes and heading the bathroom to dress. Looking for her bag on the way out she finds the note pad next to the phone and writes ' so this was good bye laterz Rae x x" Tears spill from her eyes as she slips out of the front door. Finn wakes to an empty flat with an ache that's not been caused by the 6 hours he's been asleep on the rug. He feels empty as he enters the bathroom turning on the shower he sits in the bath letting the warm water flow over him in the hope it washes him away. As he leaves for work he sees the note by the phone he takes its of the block of yellow Post it notes folds its and places it in his wallet next to the Bobby pin he's just stepped on as he was putting his boots on, it's all that he's got left from her. Rae spends the next 4 weeks helping pack her mums house up and organising the storage for all her mum's belongings whilst her and karim and baby jazz leave for Tunisia. She has 2 days now to kill before joining her mum karim and Jazz for the remainder of the holidays before she heads to Bristol. She decides to have a night with Chloe doing what Chloe likes best talking about men and makeup, Rae didn't mind really she didn't know when she'd see Chloe again and it was hard they'd spent the last 2 years after her release from a mental hospital together pretty much every day there was nothing they couldn't face together, but Chloe was going to Stamford school of business and Rae was heading to Bristol University, Archie had left to visit Egypt with Rob, Chop and Finn was taking over chops dad's garage and Izzy was off to Peterborough University but planned on staying in Stamford rather than living in halls, it made sense after Chop had moved into his own place close to the train station. Rae had just nipped in to find Izzy knee deep in a mountain of fabrics of all colours trying to organise them into colour piles she looked like a fairy sat amongst the flowers she really was cute, drinking tea and saying goodbye was hard with Izzy. And with wet faces and hugs Rae left for the travel lodge next to the airport. Lay in bed in the cheap hotel reminded her of the first time sleeping at Finns her first time sleeping in a double bed... No she can't think about it, and forces herself into a fitful sleep, she wakes early to make sure she is on time for the airport.


	2. Eat Sleep Repeat.

Chapter 2 - Eat sleep repeat. 

Rae arrived at Bristol train station weary and bleary eyes from the last 24 hours of travelling and worrying.  
She calls a cab and before she's knows it, she pulling into the place she's going to be calling home for the next year at least.  
She locates her building and find the door number 3c and uses the key on her key ring with the gold plectrum thrown from the stage at Knebworth as her and Finn swayed in time to the music rubbing it between her finger she sighed no no no no not the time for thinking especially about Finn.  
She enters realising she's the only person here well she is 2 days early so she decided she'll clean the whole place and choose her room. Picking the room with IKEA furniture rather than the old pine white washed had been a great idea as the bed seemed to have endless drawer space underneath, she needed to go and buy a lamp and other essentials her mum had slipped £200 into her hand as she left for the airport promising to pay the same amount into Raes account once a month.  
Raes trip to local Asda provided cleaning products a new green lamp and a set of new bedding with the print of cassettes in lines all different colours it was like hear headboard at home.   
She grabbed a few pot noodles some other regular basics and headed home.  
Walking back she located her knew landline in the form of a local pay phone, slipping in she took the number from the little white rectangle. Once she'd figured out this Email thing she could pass the number on to Chloe Izzy and her mum. She strood debating to call Chloe but didn't want her to think she wasn't coping already so she set off back into the halls of residence.  
Once inside she sets her lamp down and makes her bed.  
She goes into the kitchen back to the cleaning stuff slipping the bright yellow rubber gloves on she fills the sink, pressing both sides of the bleach bottles lid she turns it righty tighty lefty loosey for gods sake she realised she'd rarely cleaned at home, the lid eventually come off the smell of bleach hitting her nose and throat she instantly gagged her stomach heaving she throws herself into the bathroom being violently sick sitting back she's wipes her mouth on her sleeve “shit” she hadn't eaten since the flight back to Bristol apart from the apple on the train.  
Leaving the bathroom the smell of bleach sending her stomach rolling again... She fastens the lid before going to her room and opening window taking big gulps of Air....  
She makes a pot noodle and sits at the empty dining table wondering what her flat mates will be like...  
The next day after a breakfast of tea toast and apple she couldn't shake the feeling she needed something else but she put it down to her usual comfort eating.  
She filled the sink again before opening the bleach her stomach instantly heaving gagging she went to the bathroom and again was violently sick she decided maybe cleaning wasn't her thing especially bleach placing the lid on it and. Sliding it under the sink she poured dish soap into the sink instead before cleaning every viable inch of cupboard and side she could see then wiped all the door handles before deciding the place smelt lovely like Apples taking a deep breath she smiled feeling accomplished in her cleaning she took out the cupboard her 4 pack of caramacs and took one and went to turn on her newly purchased laptop computer but she would need to work it out as she needed emails for university and also for friends not more so her worrying mum the thought made her heart ache a little before she knew it she was sobbing into her 3rd caramac still trying to decide on a appropriate email address to continue with settling on  
EarlRae80@hotmail.com she was quite pleased with herself. Once set up she decided she would send her mum the first email.

Hiya mum it's me Rae,  
Hope your all doing OK and Jazz hasn't fried like an egg.  
No one else is here yet promise I will be in touch again soon.  
Give kisses to Jazz  
Rae.  
P. S - does bleach always make you sick it's like it's pulling my stomach through my nose. 

Finn arrives at the garage less than impressed with Chops demanding call at the ungodly hour of 7.30am demanding he comes to work early he needs to show him something.   
Finn spots the bike before chops out of the office yes mate check her out rolling his eyes he says "Izzy is going absolutely cremate you you know that"   
Chop laughs so loud Finn can feel his temples throbbing.   
“It's not mine you twat your dad came to see me and gave me the money saying it might get you out of the flat and stop you pining”   
" Fuck off" Finn says curtly a frown giving away the truth.   
For the last 7 weeks Finn had literally gone about the basics everyday shower work eat sleep repeat only venturing out on Saturday afternoons to take his Dad the paper and listen to music and drink tea... Yup he thought I've become the nothing I knew I'd be without her. Chops insistent going on finally broke and Finn realised he'd heard nothing so agreed with whatever Chop had said, Chop through the keys for the bike and Finn caught them by his fingertips. Chop shouts after him " I need you back for 9.30 those taxis from Steve's are coming in for servicing"   
Finn nods and slips the helmet already in his hands on, before he runs his hand along the bikes black shiny oil tank Imagining how rae would feel sat tightly behind him no no no no don't have time for thinking like that. Straddling the bike and placing the key a loud purr from between his legs woke him from the Rae haze he'd been in. Off he went pushing himself harder then ever before knowing the bike would be much faster than his scooter.... Feeling free for the 1st time in weeks he decided to not push it and decided to head back to work for a painstaking 8 hours of Chops jokes and ribbing.   
Arriving home that night he decided to see if Archie was free to chat.  
He wasn't, eat sleep repeat it is he thought. Finn had worked out the basics of how to email on the the relic of a computer that Archie had given him before moving to university in Durham and decided he'd leave Archie an email 

Hi Archer,  
Just Finn checking in with you it's been a while any idea when your coming back to visit? It's lonely haha. I wanna tell you all about my new girl so get in touch.   
Laters Fin  
X  
P. S have you heard from Rae.


	3. Realisation

Chapter 3 - Revelation 

Rae's sitting in her lecture decided to flick through her diary realising she had yet to make headway with getting to know the university Councillor and sorting out a new doctor to prescribe her meds.

15th October 1998  
Well hello there dear diary it's been a while, I'm only writing now as I'm sat in a lecture so unsure what I am actually doing here sometimes all my assignments have been done and on time but it's draining the life force from me.  
Shit is that really the date already...... I thought I wasn't stressed but the fact I seem to have lost my period again would say otherwise defo need to sort seeing the doctor out now. Stupid meds when was I last on she flicking through her diary she lands on the date 7th June, working it out in her head it was the week before the leavers ball, yeah lots of stress and worry since then with helping her mum and travelling to Tunisia and then starting university well it had give her body and mental health a bit of a run.

Rae leaves the lecture hall having to pee for the 10th time that morning she thinks she needs to leave the apple juice alone, walking into the toilets her body instantly projectile vomits to the very strong smell of bleach gagging and heaving into the toilet Rae felt awful she decided to head back to her room before having to go to the pay phone on the street at 8.30pm so her mum could ring her last email seemed flustered Rae assumed she was busy being a good Muslim wife.

Oh little chicken,  
It's mum ill ring the payphone at 8.30 we need to talk it's very important. Make sure you answer, or I'll be on the next flight.   
Love  
Mum

The flat was now full of 2 other girls one who had jet black hair and headphones permanently attached to her head and didn't really speak to anyone just occasionally Hello.

The other girl was nearly as tall as Rae and on the larger side like Rae she'd found comfort in Laura's company and they got on great till she came home and caught Laura wearing her oasis t shirt that had seen rae placing a Yale on her door so the could be no more accidental clothes mix ups.   
But at usual tonight the place was empty just Rae and her thoughts she looked at the clock 7.15 maybe Chloe would be free for a chat or Archie.... Taking the bag of 20ps. Lifting the receiver and dialing chloe's number she waited painfully after the 12 ring it was obvious no one was in... Archie answered after the 5th ring,   
ARCHIE - HI FINN  
RAE - DEFINATELY NOT FINN, HI ARCHIBALD EXPECTING SOMEONE ELSE?   
ARCHIE - FINN SAID HE'D RING TO TALK ABOUT HIS NEW GIR.... DOESN'T MATTER HOW'S YOU?   
RAE - SAME. OLD JUST WAITING FOR MY MUM TO CALL AT 8.30 LOOKING AT HER WATCH ITS ONLY 754 YOU OK TO TALK?  
ARCHIE - YEAH OK I'M GOOD FOR A LITTLE BIT.  
They talked for a while about there lectures and planners and all the boring stuff.   
But rae had to ask she couldn't help herself.   
RAE - HOWS FINN?   
Archie - I DUNNO HE BEEN REAL QUIET BUT SAYS HE'S GOT A NEW GIRL (FUCK ARCHIE HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT!)   
RAE - OH THAT'S NICE I HAVE A NEW LOVE AS WELL CARAMACS SHE SAID LAUGHING.   
ARCHIE - MADE HIS EXCUSES AND PUT THE PHONE DOWN.   
Rae stands with the phone in her hand checking the time it was still only 8.10pm she slumped back. Waiting on her. Mum's call. 

The phone call with her mum was awkward and stressful Linda had our right accused her of sleeping around which threw Rae off, next was could you be pregnant Rae she scoffed at her mum trying to hide her obvious doubt FUCK.

Walking back from the phone box the doubt started to eat away she started counting back she definitely had a period in June, walking into the flat the smell of bleach taking her by surprise and her hurtling to the bathroom bringing back the 4 pack of caramacs she'd eaten after lunch.  
Laying on her bed with the window open as wide as it could go, it's October and despite the cold air every time she closed the window she panicked she couldn't breath.   
How did this even happen..... The leavers ball Raes mind took her back to the green rug in Finns living room FUCK FUCK.... What time was it is Asda still open there was only 1 way to be sure....   
Covering the pregnancy test with latest NME magazine praying no one would ask her any questions.  
She tried to call Archie but the line was engaged Finn Fucking Nelson again no doubt.   
Sitting in the bathroom heart hammering away she read the instructions on the pregnancy test was this even happening.   
Peeing on the stick had been amusing she wasn't sure she'd managed it at all placing the end back on the test she placed it on the window sill behind the toilet.... 2 minutes to wash her hands wet her face and dependent on the result ruin her whole life. And there is was in the that tiny little window 2 fucking lines that's all took to change her whole life. 

Raes sitting in the doctors head in hands eyes red from crying and a sick feeling for once not caused by caramacs or bleach but knowing she has now to see a doctor and decide what's next, she not expecting the doctor to tell her that she's too far along to consider an abortion and that she needs to attend the local hospital tomorrow morning for a scan to check on things she still can't bring herself to say baby.   
She has 2 options actually step up and become a mother what kind of mother only time would tell or hand the baby over for adoption but that just didn't sit right with her deep down.   
Trying to write her mum an email. With the most disappointing news ever was harder then she thought and after 5 attempts gave up and decided she would wait till after the scan.   
Her hands are clammy her body shaking with all the unknown medical equipment around her as the small mousy looking women explains that she's going to put cold jelly on her belly (fuck it made her jump)   
Running the probe over Raes stomach she asks if she would like to see her baby and Rae hesitates does she??   
There it is like a tornado on a satellite picture (quite an analogy in this shit storm that was her life) the mousy looking woman pointed out the babies hands near its head its cute button nose and its spine, Rae is enamoured but her brain is screaming FUCK FUCK FUCK.  
The lady prints of the scan pictures and says "all a bit real" Rae nods as the lady speaks again "maybe the babies dad would like to see the pictures"   
Finn Nelson had not spoken to her in nearly 5 months but she hadn't spoken to him either how was she ever going to tell him would he believe her? Despite her mums accusations she had only ever slept with Liam and Finn. 

She decides to give herself a bit of time lying to her mum saying that it's her meds that have caused the missed period.   
She just devoured a pack of caramacs when she feels something bump inside her looking down she's amazed as the same bump happens again just below her belly button and again... Would seem babies got hiccups shed started reading online what she should be expecting at 5 months pregnant and up until now she had not felt any movement other than what she had put down to wind.... This was really happening she wasn't showing thank god due to her size 18 body but knew this secret had to come out or did it.... 

November.  
Finn Nelson is sitting in the pub alone when, Chop stumbles in followed by Izzy with her big smile red hair and small Bump Finn swallowed hard realising he hadn't noticed before now and chop hasn't mentioned it had he Fuck.  
Izzy sliding into the seat so she is between Finn and Chop before Chop goes to the bar Finn can't take his eyes of Izzys tummy noting that her belly button is sticking through the soft material, before asking how far along are you izz 5 months just had my 2nd scan you wanna see she searches through her handbag before producing a white envelope containing 2 pictures Finn tries to see anything other than a tornado on the weather satellite but oohs and ahhs as Izzy points out all the babies limbs nose eyes he can't help but be happy for Izzy and Chop despite the deep black hole in his heart wondering what


	4. To much thinking.

Chapter 4 to much thinking. 

No no no no he can't think like that he hasn't spoken to Rae in 5 months and he's sat her thinking what there baby would look like get over yourself Nelson and move on. But he's tried the getting laid wasn't a problem but it never satisfied the longing he still felt for Rae.  
Coming out of his daydream Izzy was smacking chops arm and saying your a horrible boy Finn smiles and excuses himself from the table thinking if he doesn't leave now he will cry absolutely he's never felt so alone.

18th November.

Dear diary,  
So sorry it's been a while well remember a while back when I was talking about periods and stuff well it's not my meds or being fat Nope I'm Pregnant but shhhhh it's a secret tho, can't believe I let this happen but it was definitely the night of the leavers ball so it's a baby Nelson I'm carrying a sex gods baby ok enough of that stupid hormones I could hump the postman's leg right now.  
How do I tell everyone now I've know for a whole month and I can't imagine sharing this with anyone. Should I send a group email should I ring everyone I've been avoiding my mums calls I haven't spoken to Chloe, Archie is busy and Izzy and Chop are expecting too, I've nearly slipped up on the phone to Izzy saying I knew how she felt when she complained about constant heartburn and needing to pee but saved myself saying I drank to much and my diet was crap.  
Brb need to pee.  
OK so then there's Finn I haven't spoken emailed seen him in nearly 6 months I wonder what he's been doing whilst I've been eating my body weight in caramacs and then evacuating them every time I get a whiff of bleach whilst doing course work helping at the student union and pretending I'm not actually growing his baby Fuck.  
I need to tell someone but who, Izzy we can share stories my mum we can bond over the disappointment, Chloe so she can tut and tell me she's going to be there when in reality soon as I had left stamford she'd entered business school and become friends with the most snobbish people her emails recently full of champagne and party's, Archie who is loyal to me and Finn and would probably be angry that I haven't told Finn (why haven't I told him) nope nope I think i'll keep it to myself a bit longer although my pants are getting tighter and my dressing gown starting to part after my boobs! I need another caramac so I'm going to go.  
Laters. 

1st December

Lying in bed Finn wants to call her he needs to after having rampant dreams about her and then nightmares of her saying goodbye over and over again, he calls Archie instead.  
They catch up for an hour before the urge takes over and he's asking Archie about Rae after a pause Archie admits he's not been a good friend recently which is true and he feels bad apart from a few emails here and there he's not heard from her mmmmm he decides he'll email once he's done with Finn who is asking questions he can't answer.  
FINN - So Raes coming back for Christmas and her mum and karim are back in a few days to sort the house out and then they are going to collect her from Bristol?  
Archie - I think that's what's Chloe said. Do you want her email yet Finn it might help if you just spoke to her.  
Finn - pauses yeah go on then.   
Taking a chewed up pen he writes down her email and the number Archie has for her.  
After wrapping up there phone call Archie emails Rae an apology for giving Finn her details but he didn't know what else to do given Finn keeps asking.


	5. Archie.

Rae blinks at the screen before cursing Archie loudly why would he do this to her, he didn't have a clue what he had done and now she was scared and worried and pretty alone for the next 2 weeks until it was time to head back to Stamford although it was the last place on earth she wanted to be with a swollen round hard pregnant belly that people had just started to notice but daren't say anything incase it's just weight she's gained haha!  
Everyone from halls had already started leaving heading home for the holidays she was being collected by her mum on the 10th after her and karim and jazz had settled back in to the family home, her mum was still in the dark about her pregnancy and she wishes it could stay like that but she planned on telling her in the email she needed to send confirming what time she would be ready to leave for Christmas.  
Rae had sorted out all the details of having the baby in Bristol and the head had agreed if she could complete all modules she's could carry on her degree after the baby was born and she could take 6 months she had found a small flat that was costing the same as halls of residence was so she had signed the lease and paid the deposit all set to move in after Christmas.  
Sitting in her almost packed room she decided to email her mum through crying eyes she told her mum the truth.

Hi mum,  
I'm not sure how disappointed you will be with this news and I'm sorry I've lied to you and kept you in the dark but I'm nearly 7 months pregnant and I didn't want you to worry whilst Karim finished his contract. So there you have it. I've enclosed a picture of my scan your future grand baby....  
Please don't be angry.  
Rae.

Sniffling she added the attachment wiping her eyes she caught the keyboard before hitting ENTER!

An email almost instantly dropped into her inbox shit she thought as she opened it her mum was going to be angry.  
Archie - Rae why didn't you tell me?  
Chloe... Rae who's baby is it you didn't say you was seeing anyone.  
Izzy.... Oh wow birth buddies what's your due date.  
Fuck Fuck Fuck how the hell had this happened she needed damage control and quick knowing there was one person who deserved to hear it straight from her.  
Sending an email back to everyone explaining the situation that Finn didn't know they all sent the same response.  
Chloe Finn  
Archie Finn  
Izzy Finn  
Mum Finn thank god for that....

She took her bag of 20ps of the windowsill walked towards the payphone outside looking around like she was a Ninja about to be jumped.   
How was she ever going to tell Finn 6 months in and with 9 days to go before heading back to Stamford.  
She dialed his number and let the phone ring shit she thought what happens when he answers he didn't answer she didn't know what to do she tried again and this time there was an answer for the 1st time in her life she had no idea what words to use to fix this she put the receiver down and went to head out of the phone box the shrill of it ringing making her jump she answered and there his voice quiet and confused asked Rae what's wrong why are calling is everything OK?? She couldn't speak and it was obvious to him to he asked the same question is everything OK??  
She placed the receiver down before leaving the phone box the phone ringing and ringing until she entered the building and could no longer hear it.  
Reaching her room she fell to pieces sobbing so hard she held her belly apologising to her baby promising everything was going to be ok.

Finn was perplexed 7 months with no call email letter nothing and now just as he had started to make head way getting promoted by chop working on his bike his life was simple but that's all he could expect he wasn't amazing like Rae she had so going for her beyond the usual she had been his whole world and he'd let her down so badly when she needed him the most and instead of fighting for her he'd let someone else kiss him place a hand on his chest it had been a kiss if you could call 30 seconds before pushing her off just as Rae had let herself into the flat Finn meeting her at the door explaining they needed to talk before Rae heard something and she'd steamed past him finding Katie Springer sat on her side of the bed of all places she'd left and i didn't follow why didn't I follow... Oh yeah her knuckles scraped and bleeding how could i possibly make her better now id hurt her beyond repair.  
It had been chop who had encouraged Finn to join them at the leavers ball said he needed closure and to say goodbye properly and Rae wouldn't have a plus one so he needed to sort his shit and talk to her.  
He'd got closure the following morning waking up without Rae and the note he thumbed it from his wallet as he thought running his fingers over it.  
He heard the phone again he pounced to answer sure it was her he whispered into the phone Rae what's wrong is everything OK there had been a long silence before she'd hung up.

Before he knew what he was doing Finn had grabbed his bike keys and set off towards the train station but it was 3 hours to Bristol by train but he had to go paying the ticket master he sunk into his seat the train wouldn't arrive in Bristol till 11.45 and he had no idea where he was going or what he was doing but following a hunch that Rae needed him.


	6. Turn around.

Chapter 6 Turn around. 

Raes sobs had softened and she had treated herself to Caramacs and warm Vimto and was sitting in the communal lounge with her feet up thinking back to the leavers ball listening to The Verves Luck Man, why couldn't she have been strong why didn't she say goodbye like normal people she'd used her body to explain rather than words trying to make him understand that she loved him but she had to try and become the best version of herself she could. He'd only done as she had asked that night OK begged but why hadn't they been careful drink was no excuse they'd had sex in pretty.much every secluded place in stamford absolute plastered but always used condoms the one night they needed to be grown up and they had both fucked it up.  
Rubbing her belly absentmindedly looking to the clock it approaching midnight she decided to put her pj's on and try and get some sleep before the heartburn started and baby settled to sleep on her bladder making her pee every 20 minutes, heaving herself off of the sofa was no mean fete these days she felt huge waddling to the bathroom sitting down to pee and feeling like she'd beat a race horse hands down at peeing she hears the chime from the intercom what now.  
Waddling towards the intercom thinking she wasn't expecting anyone and it's nearly half past midnight she answers shakily she can hear panting Rae Rae Rae is that you???

Finn had arrived in Bristol at 11.45 and instantly jumped into taxi heading towards the University not having a clue how he was going to find her amongst the 100s of flats his best plan was to ask security on campus they ended up being less then helpful. Most people had already gone home for Xmas so he'd leant back against the railings looking up when he had seen a light flicker on through a frosted window so guessed they may know where Raes building was but fuck it's gone midnight people are not going to be happy. Pressing the numbers there had been no answer this was proving difficult... Pressing the last buzzer he had just started to walk away when he heard her voice his beautiful Rae.

Rae is that you?  
Finn why how are you here.  
Let me in please rae  
Who told you  
Who told me what?  
You rang me Rae I want to know your alright.  
3c 2 doors on your left from the lift 3rd floor.   
He hears the buzzing as she released the door to him.

Shit shit shit shit Finn is here right now and he doesn't know what he's about to see... There's no hiding baby now either her belly protruding from her dressing gown stretching her oasis t shirt over her over stretched leggings, she sweeps her hair up into a messy bun and unlocks the door quickly shuffling to the kettle flicking it on she hears a knock she knows she should just turn around and be done with it but she cant instead she calls out tea 2 still?? She heard the door and can hear him approaching and shes frozen to the spot arms out stretched into cupboard reaching for the tea bags someone has pushed behind everything else. Slowly she slips back onto her feet Finn clears his throat and she turns her head to look at him and he's stood there in her flat with a grey t-shirt denim fleece jacket and his ever favourite boots his hair is messy he looks tired rings around his eyes.  
Hey long time no see.....she says trying to get a grip of the lump closing her throat off....

Rae what's happened are you OK? Why did you call me? I was letting you do what you needed you said you'd find your own way but you rang and didn't speak he stops thinking of how many funny phone calls he had late at night in the last 3 months shakin his head he says it was you that was ringing wasn't it late at night.... I didn't have your number I assumed it was just some random call centre with a time difference.  
What do you need Rae talk to me she was still facing the kettle as it clicked off realising she was going to have to turn for the milk she poured the water and stirred before slowly and carefully turning to face Finn full on before she headed to the fridge exposing her very pregnant belly...   
She didn't dare look at his reaction the noise had been enough she felt the sting of tears before she realised she was crying.


	7. Do the maths.

Chapter 7

Finn stood with his hands in his pockets rocking on feet trying quickly to say the right thing but everyone knows he's no good with words.  
He crosses the kitchen slowly, she pouring milk into the tea trying to hide her tears behind her eyes.   
He reaches for her hand she lets him take her palm collects his cup in one hand she reaches for hers and they walk well finn walks rae waddles concentrating hard to not spill her tea.  
As rae dips to sit Finn shuffles to the chair facing her.  
She's looking at him with those big beautiful eyes he has literally never been so lost for words, she is pulling at the already stretched oasis t shirt before resting her hand under her bump.  
Finn clears his throat and tries to speak.  
" rae help me out here say something anything"  
Rae looks straight into my soul and says "it's your baby"  
But finn new that had known the moment she turned to face him.  
Finn - leavers ball?  
Rae - yeah  
Finn - 7 months (quick maths) boy/girl?  
Rae - I don't know I didn't ask at the last scan.   
Rae - I'm so sorry I didn't tell you I didn't know how.  
Finn - why now? Who knows does everyone know and they've all. Lied to me saying you was fine?  
Rae swallows hard.  
Rae - they know but but they didn't I sent my mum an email tonight i've been lying to her as well I couldn't face it I didn't know if I was strong enough, anyway I accidently sent the email to everyone in my contacts.  
I panicked and everyone responded straight away and I tried to call straight away but you didn't pick up and when. You did I thought someone else would of told you and you'd be angry.  
Finn - I am angry 7 months rae you've been carrying my our baby and said nothing I've been there the whole time going to work riding my bike drinking to much waiting for your to reach out...  
Rae - I am truly sorry I got it in my head you would of moved on and for my own selfish reasons I didn't want to stir up trouble or you think I'd done it on purpose to trap you.  
Finn - really rae you think I'd think that I've got nothing going for me I'm a mechanic working in my best friends garage riding a motorcycle I can't afford and living in a flat above the bookies I'm hardly a catch.  
Rae - you could have anyone Finn anyone and it's not fair on you.  
Finn - no it's not fair he lowers his tone realising he's shouting it's not fair that I'm here right now and your telling me I should be with someone else. I've been waiting for you to be my friend, my long distance, your everything like you are to me.  
He watches as she rubs her belly in circular motions she looks up and says "hiccups"  
Finn - Rae I'm right here what do you want me do I don't know how to fix this.   
Rae stands up her face stern "there's nothing to fix I'm not broken and I'm doing this with or without you.   
Finn - which do you want Rae  
Rae - I don't know.   
Panicking Finn stands as she turns to waddle away she's always walking away, she turns feeling the anxiety roll off him  
Rae - sorry toilet call. 

Sitting in the bathroom Rae sobs covering the sound with the tap. How did it end up like this. Bracing herself against the sink whilst she washed her face with cold water. She left the bathroom with her head up and bump out but entering the lounge he wasn't there looking toward the kitchen no sign.   
Great just great.   
Rae moves towards her room maybe finn was in there yup finn was in there plumping pillows and flattening sheets oh dear god what had she done to him.... She crosses the room reaching into her bedside drawers and pulls out the latest scan photo and hands it to Finn he asks if he can keep it Rae shrugs. They both study the photo and in unison say looks like satellite weather warning each laughing. And Finns mind jumping back to the pub with Izzy and Chop shit was he psychic or something.   
He pulls out his wallet and places the picture carefully inside.

Finn turns to Rae and says i'll be just out there shout me if you need anything ok? I'm not going anywhere but you need to sleep.   
She nods and slips of her slippers and hangs her dressing gown on the door asking finn you. Going to watch me change finn shakes himself out of it watching her try to move now with an s shaped back and a bump but no sticky out belly button mmmm cute. 

He coughs and says No morning we'll talk OK?   
Rae nods her eyes heavy yawning so wide she nearly swallows her own head.   
Night Rae.   
Night Finn... Quilts in my wardrobe it's December. 

Finn - lay awake all night listening to Raes not so quiet snoring he chuckled to himself,  
But here it came again that moment where she turns and he knows that he put that baby inside her before she says a word FUCK I'm going to be a Dad a Dad me a Dad he pulled out the scan. Picture trying to work out his baby's nose chin and spine like Izzy had showed him! Before he knew it the room grew lighter and he waited for Rae to stir before making her a cup of tea and set to work tidying up, she was going back with him he hope at least until Linda and Karim arrived back...... Shit ma Da.  
Looking around remembering Rae didn't have a landline, he went to ask if she minded him going out to use the phone to speak to his Dad she grunted and said the keys was hung by the door.

Finn waited for the line to connect oh dear it's 8.15am hope he's not asleep the phone seemed to ring for hours in reality it was minutes.  
Gary - hello   
Finn- hiya da he sounds out of breath  
Gary - oh Finn I wondered when you'd get around to calling me back.  
Finn - sorry da I'm in Bristol with Rae  
Gary - I know son I know.  
Finn - what do you know Da.... Or should I say grandad.  
Gary - Exactly and grandads just fine.  
Finn - are you angry with me.  
Gary - no son I'm notbangry I'm actually a bit excited but don't tell Linda.   
Finn - right I need to go see what Rae wants to do and needs, she is ok to stay till her mums back at least.  
Gary - that's my boy, and Rae will be always be welcome you know that.

Finn arrives back to Raes room to find her awake huffing and puffing that her clothes don't fit she's stood wearing a vest top and leggings the vest so tight you can see the pink of her bra (not now Nelson)   
She looks up and just points at the expansive bump in front of her he cocks his head and laughs what you laughing at dickhead, nothing can I shower before we talk please yeah go ahead.   
Rae busys herself folding the quilt Finn used last night and making tea before settling on the sofa soon enough Finn joins her wearing nothing but a towel. And sits facing her she's smirking and shaking her head... Finn asks what?? (rae fighting every hormone in her body to prevent her from literally jumping his bones or at least attempting to)   
Her voice deceiving her she says we still need to talk.  
Whilst Finn gets dressed Rae starts her computer up she has 6 emails   
ARCHIE   
CHLOE   
KESTER  
MUM  
IZZY  
GARY 

She opens them one by one. 

ARCHIE  
Hi Rae, I'm going to try and make it over to see you don't go anywhere, have you told Finn?   
Oh fuck Rae your going to be a Mum. ARE YOU OK WITH THAT?   
Love Uncle Archie  
X

CHLOE.   
Rae babe you need to tell Finn he's a nice guy do you want me to go and tell him?   
Why didn't you use protection did he talk you out of it fucking typical.   
I'll call tomorrow if I can I'm in classes all day so might be late.   
Love Chloe x

KESTER  
Well well well, how do you feel about this Rae, why don't you tell me what you was thinking not being careful. Congratulations anyway.   
Kester.

 

MUM  
Oh my little chicken, I wish you could of been honest with me and I feel awful knowing you couldn't tell me, I'm going to call Gary and ask him to get Finn to contact you, you need to do the right thing now chicken. See you very soon, keep in touch.   
Love Mum x x x

IZZY  
OMG Rae why didn't you tell me when I told you Chop had knocked me up the night of the leavers ball? What's your due date? Chosen any names?   
Are your feet swollen?   
If your back at Christmas we have to meet up and compare bumps. Call you tomorrow.   
Love Izzy :) x x x 

GARY  
Congratulations Rae your mum called just to let you know I can't get hold of Finn right now but will try again soon. If you see him before me ask him to call home.   
Love Grandad I meant Gary  
X


	8. Baby feels.

After reading the emails together they decide to sort Raes stuff for packing and travelling back to Stamford after she agrees to stay at Finns in the spare room till her mum karim and jazz arrive back home.  
Finn rings Gary to come and collect them the day after as travelling by train in Christmas rush hours may be difficult.

Rae settles on the sofa legs stretched out in front Finn is sat in the chair facing whilst they listen to Oasis.   
Rae jumps as the baby somersaults against her ribs painfully before he knows what he's doing himself Finn is knelt in front of her reaching to touch her round swollen bump she panics pulling away and Finn apologises and goes to stand up before Rae takes his hand and places it on her bump (there bump)   
As if knowing baby somersaults again Finn feeling his unborn baby move for the first time he's got no words nothing new there but his eyes are leaking big wet tears onto Raes leggings.... Rae roughs his hair and smiles he smiles back before standing up and moving back to his chair.   
Rae tells him her plans for coming back to university after the baby is born and finishing what she started panic again sets in but he doesn't let it show just tells her he'll organise moving furniture with chop and make sure she's settled before baby arrives. It's very obvious that this is going to take some work.... But he wants to be part of this babies life what that means right now he doesn't know. Rae leaves the flat to the payphone to wait for chloe and Izzy's calls after lots of screaming and crying on all parts they decide to meet at the Swan about 8pm the following night.   
She tries Archies phone and there's no answer surprise surprise as she leaves the phone box she notices a familiar red car parked in front. Of her building, letting herself back in she goes to tell Finn about the car reaching her flat she hears laughing opening the door to find Archie slapping Finn on the back saying "didn't know you had it in you" fuck of uncle Archie haha.   
Rae smiles at them both before announcing her presence Archie instantly bursts into tears approaching her tentatively arms outstretched leaning awkwardly for a hug before showing her the bags of stuff he's brought with him.   
Before long Rae is snoring in the crook of Archie arm after going through bags containing most of baby gap all in white.   
Archie slips from under Rae and nodds to finn to follow him into the kitchen.   
Archie sighs she looks fantastic doesn't she   
Finn looks around he already knew but just double checked and smiled, I know.  
Archie starts asking questions that finn has no answers to  
Are you back together?   
Will you get back together?   
Before settling on do you love her Finn? 

The realisation all over again literally roots Finn to the spot, I never stopped Archie but does she love me?   
Finn speaks up again and says.   
All know right now is she needs me and I've always been hers and I never stopped loving her.   
He hears Rae sigh hard before prising herself of the sofa before waddling towards the bathroom. 

Leaning against Finn sleepily they both wave Archie off he isn't due back in stamford till the 18th of December.   
Before Rae realises what she doing she kissing Finns neck he reacts instantly putting his hands on her shoulders what was that?   
I love you too Finn but what now?? 

He walks her back into the flat and straight into her room letting her get comfy she pats the bed at her side, he asks are you sure she nods rubbing her belly, he leans up on his elbow he goes to touch the bump that seems to be jumping he places his hand gently and looks up almost asking. For permission Rae smiles with her eyes letting him know it's absolutely fine... He watches his hand bounce before asking what's baby Nelson doing she laughs a full belly laugh and says "baby Earl has got hiccups"   
Hand in Raes belly Finn feels like for the first time. In his life he has a purpose.   
Finns falling asleep as feels Raes hands running along his chest he looks up to find her smiling eyes and he slides up the bed to kiss her gently so gently that Rae unravels 7 months it's been since she felt that kiss she deepens it quickly running her leg up Finns his hand is still resting in her bump but she moves it to her incredibly large and swollen breasts he's groans into there now urgent kisses, his hand went. Down reaching her leggings waistband he stops "please Finn" he stops kissing her peeling the leggings from her belly kissing her swollen round tummy running. His. Hand over it Rae shivered he slid his hand over her mound before parting her lips using his fingers gently really gently Raes frustration grew at the gentle caress starts to grind her hips against his hand.   
He speeds up his fingers his cock literally chafing against his jeans trying to break free.   
Raes breathing sped up her whimpers louder the twitching began and Finn watched as Raes back arched taking the bump shouting his name it almost sent him over edge and spilling into his boxers like a teenager again.   
Rae instantly moves against his hand but he's not sure what to do to carry on proceedings he looks up but Rae looks delicious and entirely unhelpful until she realises what's actually going unsaid, she sits up motioning for Finn to stand up in front of her undoing his buckle and buttons on his jeans before releasing his cock into her warm hand and running her tongue against his length she leans forward taking him in her mouth humming gently over him as she slips him in and out, Finns knees tremble and she speeds up but her own orgasm seems to be building Finns hands squeeze her chest and before she knows it he has her on all fours her head resting on the bed one arm out in front one holding there precious bump, looking at her round pale arse Finn needs to be inside her but it literally terrified of hurting her or the baby she leans back onto him and he asks if he should get a condom before he realises it's such a stupid question given and she presses back into him again shaking her head, kneeling behind her he places his shaft at her entrance she's wet and glistening he pushes a little further not wanting to hurt her she instantly thrusts back taking him by surprise he grabs her hips steadying himself and her before thrusting into her slowly over and over again whilst her body shakes and twitches he concentrates on not cumming he's savouring her it's been to long Raes moans become louder and her breathing heavy his name being moaned into the bed sheets her hand fisting the quilt and with one more thrust long and deep but gentle they both get there release.  
As Rae tries to get up if the floor she realises it's it not going to be easy and motions for Finn to help he helps her stand and she waddles of to the bathroom to shower, whilst he uses the tissues on the nightstand.   
Rae comes back showered and in the biggest oversized knickers ever and a tank top thats clinging to her wet chest and bump. He reaches out for her and she slips into his arms placing her head on his shoulder and swaying to the late night radio that's been playing all night Finn rubs the small of her back before she asks him if she can sleep he releases her and she crawls into the unmade messy bed and leans over to grab his t shirt and red checked shirt.  
Her eyes flutter open and she whispers stay with me tonight. He climbs up from the bottom of her bed an under duvet she's thrown to one side for him. She places her head in the crook of his neck and almost instantly starts to snore lightly. Finn finds her hand at her side and slips his fingers between hers giving it a squeeze, feeling like his how universe is lying next to him in a single bed with to many pillows.   
The baby kicks at that moment making Finn jump and laugh as he feels it against his arm again, Rae doesn't stir which he thinks is spooky.


	9. Home sweet Stamford.

It took more than 6 hours for Gary to get Rae and Finn back to the house, after numerous near misses with sickness and the stopping every 30 mins to pee, as they turned into the drive Rae announces she's hungry she not mentioned food once apart from the insatiable craving of caramacs, Finn promises once everything it sorted inside he'll make her a cheese and Branston sandwich but he'll have to nip out for caramacs.Gary all the while isn grinning like the cat that got the cream remembering Finns mum pregnant and demanding ice cubes and parma violet sweets shaking his head he's still watching as Finn helps rae up the garden and into the house he's never seen Finn so delicate with his touch. His heart swells with pride right now he must be the luckiest man dad grandadto be, alive.

Finn opened the door to pub for Rae to enter before he had chance to step inside Izzy had flown at Rae tears pouring from her green eyes whilst they both stood holding there bumps in admiration Finn tapped Rae nodding so she moved over so he could slip in and go to the bar..... Watching both girls chattering and laughing and still crying Finn couldn't help but feel emotional himself Rae glowed and not just just from the December chill on the slow walk to the pub but in the way she moved edging around people to protect her bump Izzy doing the same as they made there way to a table, he didn't know what him and Rae was right now he hoped they would be together that's what he really wanted but he didn't have a clue how to make it happen especially now there was so much more to lose if he didn't get his shit together.   
Chop slammed into the back of him exclaiming the drinks are on him,   
Heading back to the table chop says they are beautiful aren't they.  
Taken back Finn nods in agreement smiling to himself who had given chop a heart finally?  
Didn't take long for chop to redeem himself by telling Rae she was beautiful that was some baby she was carrying with the size of her ever growing bump Rae rolled her eyes, placing her hand in Finns leg she traced the words F-a-t and Finn berated chop telling him Rae bump matched her size before realising it sounded like he was saying she was Fat he's so shit with words.  
3 pints in the girls 4th bathroom break makes them look fed up both boys nod in agreement home time, Chop picking Izzy's bag up and pulling her up from her chair Rae watching intently when Finn reaches out his hand and says. "come on girl" glad of the help she stands up, giving Izzy a kind of sideways cuddle and Chop a long hug he leant up and kissed her cheek.  
Finn was holding out Rae coat when she turned around and she snapped "I can get myself dressed"  
They walked home from the pub Rae quickly realising she should of used the toilet before they left the pub, arriving home before 11pm Rae decides its bedtime almost soon as they are through the door she glances to look for Gary but he's not there he must already be in bed. She's exhausted but follows Finn to the kitchen anyway she'll sleep in tomorrow morning, Finn sets about making tea and toast but Raes got her head in the cupboard looking for caramacs when she comes up empty handed Finn looks deflated for her, finishing the tea he's asks do want me to go to the garage and get you a caramacs or 3? Her Grin widens and she nods, he can do this it's simple just nip out grab caramacs and then he can ask her what's going to happen when she leaves after Christmas.  
Rae sighs into her caramac as Finn starts the plan  
He is going to take a week off work when she goes back to help move into the new flat and then come back and work his notice for Chop, Chops already organised a van to move stuff.   
Rae yawns wondering if she can sneak off as if in agreement baby shifts over her bladder she gotta pee.  
Leaving the bathroom Rae notices the spare room door open slightly and Finn sitting on the bed only the lamp for light makes him beautiful but he starts talking again wow Rae doesn't think she's ever heard him talk as much but she's not really listening she's trying but the days travelling and emotional meeting with Izzy has her spent she yawns loudly and Finn stands and pulls back the freshly pressed burgundy sheets and she slips in and he switches off the lamp and heads to the door her heart aches wanting to tell him to come back but she presses her lips together he'll come back when he's ready and because he wants to not because she's carrying his baby, sighing into her pillow she falls into a restless sleep mixed emotions filling her dream space.  
Finns got it all figured out he hopes, but Rae hadn't seemed interested but he knew she was tired could see it from her absent mind belly rubbing and hair twirling he lay awake on his back in his old room looking around at how much had changed the posters was gone the crates with his decks everything was at his flat, he really needed to nip over and sort the place maybe Rae would wanna come over tomorrow.

Chop had rang around 8.30 asking Finn if he could help him rig an engine around 11am so much for sorting the flat he was missing his music, he'd gone to the spare room to let rae know he'd be gone pretty much. Till tea but she wasn't in bed he heard her retching into the toilet muttering to herself about hangovers being better then this shit he chuckled as he knocked on the door and entered the bathroom she was on the edge of the bath in just a bra and pj pants t-shirt on the floor obviously she'd managed to get sick on it, looking over as picks the tshirt up before throwing it in the hamper for washing, his gaze lingering longer than he expected she huffed out a big sigh I need to get out myself today Christmas presents and baby things. And new bra Finn almost instantly let his eyes rest on her breasts spilling from the the funny coloured blue green bra she'd bought for camping.  
Shaking himself notices rae is staring at him when he realises he's stood in. Just a t shirt and boxers with his semi pressing against the material...  
Shit sorry Rae ermm..  
Do you still find me attractive even like this?  
What do you mean like this?  
I mean even fatter more stretch marks spots greasy hair (Finn has no idea what she is talking about she's even more beautiful than she's ever been)  
Finn nods always Rae he moves closer.  
She sighs again he wants to wrap her in his arms but is scared he doesn't think he could face her rejection right now.  
She takes him by surprise putting her arms around his shoulders and nuzzling into his neck he holds her close to close he can smell sick mixed with toothpaste but says nothing can feel the weight she's carrying as she uses his shoulders as somewhere to take the weight of he reaches between them running his hand over he belly which is solid now not like the soft squidgy tummy she hated.  
Finn... You need a cold shower. And with that she was gone well as fast as she could her arse wobbling a bit out the door with her waddling.

Rae gets dressed and lays on the bed in the spare room pretending to be asleep when Finn pops his head in. She doesn't know how to tell him she wants him back maybe she should ask Chloe actually where had Chloe been.... Listening for the door to click shut she ventured down stairs to make tea in the hopes to settle her tummy before the bus ride into town, settling on the 2nd stair she calls chloe after the 10th ring. Chloe answers.  
Hi Chloe  
Hi Rae  
You free today for lunch and Xmas shopping?  
Ermm yeah what time is it   
11.15..  
OK ill. Meet you at 1 outside Debenhams is that OK?  
Yeah see you then.  
Rae wonders what's got into chloe as shes never ever been anything other than enthusiastic about shopping. Placing the receiver on cradle she sees a note.

Rae,  
Didn't wanna wake you but there's some money to help with baby things under the lamp, do you want to go out to eat tonight to?  
Laterz Finn

Fucking Laterz!

As rae leaves she grabs the £100 Finn has left and stuffs it into her oversize coats pocket before pulling her gloves out of the other pocket.


	10. Chloe.

As Rae headed towards debenhams in the city centre she looked around for Chloe hoping she wasn't late.   
It wasn't until she passed a crowd of people that she saw Chloe her scooped up on a messy bun wearing a heavy faux leopard print coat, her legs didn't want to carry Rae any further she hadn't seen chloe since just before she found out she was expecting, and was just unsure how she really felt her email had been curt and filled with worry.   
But Chloe's face lit up as she watched Rae waddle towards her looking stunning as always without even trying,   
Both embracing each other Rae found herself apologising and Chloe doing the same tears streaming. Down there faces, both in Unison say let's get a brew everything is better with tea, sitting in the cafe Chloe lead the conversation telling Rae about her promotion at work, the new man in her life Jeff and how he was so romantic, how her dad was having a health scare with his heart and her mum was beside herself. Her eyes tho never let Raes tummy that was really stretching the burgandy jumper she had on.   
Chloe had been pregnant a few years back and had terminated Rae felt a twinge of guilt.   
Chloe had moved over to sit next to rae asking with an outstretched hand if she could touch Raes belly, rae leaned back as an answer and. Chloe ran her hand over her bump with tears threatening at the corner of her eyes.   
Straighten herself, old chloe was back in 6he room what are we shopping for??   
Rae produced her Christmas list as boring as it was it had to be done. 

Mum   
Karim  
Jazz  
Chloe  
Gary  
Archie   
Finn   
Gary 

Managing to get everyone sorted pretty much from the one place HMV they went on the hunt for wrapping paper.  
Rae didn't want to be standing here let alone with Chloe as they stood outside Mothercare.   
Chloe was enthralled at the rows of baby clothes bibs socks small t shirts small everything was small, whilst rae was internally struggling to breath that the baby vest she'd just picked up was Tiny really tiny, it was really happening she was having a baby and her heart deceived her making her sniffle Chloe spin. Around what's the Matter Rae.. Through he sobs rae managed.... It's really happening SHIT.   
After allowing the stuffy women from the counter measure her for a maternity bra she was shocked to have gone up 2 cup sizes the price was ridiculous too thankfully her mum had added 50 to her usual allowance to help with Christmas.   
Looking around again rae purchased the baby's sleeping suits vests bibs and the tiniest socks ever, 2 blankets in yellow and white and coat with an elephant pattern, and a packet of muslins without a clue what they actually was but they was a lovely shade of yellow.   
Chloe waved her over handing her a bag with the tiniest pair of converse she'd ever seen. Rae really needed to sit down Chloe noticed and pointed to the nearest cafe.   
Sipping tea and telling chloe all the details of how things was going with Finn made her realise she'd been holding him at arms length admitting she was scared he only wanted her back because she was having his baby.   
Chloe told her that they both new that wasn't the case. After promising to meet over the following weekend they parted ways with Chloe saying to give her love to her mum. 

Checking her pocket for change she realised she only had enough for the bus back and headed to the station laden with backs she boarded the bus, it was packed and smelly and she really just wanted to be in a hot shower that was her plan in and a warm shower.   
Reaching Finns house she noticed the Xmas tree in the window, before seeing Gary waving she hadn't really spoken to Gary since she arrived he was always out to work early and away to bed early at night.   
Gary appeared at the door and unburdened Rae of her bags, scolding her for not calling him to collect her.   
Gary explained that Finn had called to say he was heading to the flat to empty the fridge and clear up in the hopes of getting his deposit back to help out with the baby, rae guessed Finn Had been serious about moving to Bristol before the baby was born.   
Sipping tea listening to Gary tell stories of Finns delivery on the 26th January 1979 and how much he'd loved him from the moment he saw his mop of black hair and pink ears sticking out.   
Rae imagined a baby with Finn's face and it made her laugh out loud Gary put his hand on hers and whispered "everything will be fine now come and look at the Christmas tree" it was lovely with coloured lights and the mixed of old and new decorations including Some of which Finn had made at nursery school something about them made Rae well up again, jesus she needed to get a grip.   
After explaining to Gary she was ready for a shower and a nap she went upstairs taking the Xmas presents with her they needed wrapping but it would have to wait, after showering Rae dried herself and bundled her hair on top of her head perching on the edge of the bed to attempt wrapping presents after the first one she wishes she'd bought gift bags leaning back she decided to close her eyes just for a minute thinking. Over the day with Chloe and the butterflies she felt knowing her mum and baby sister would be back tomorrow her email had said the house was sorted it Rae wanted to go back there and she was welcome but it would be a squeeze rolling her eyes Rae thought typical.   
Jumping awake Rae checked the time it was 11pm she'd slept for 6 hours and nobody had bothered to disturb her but now she was going to pee any minute and her belly was growling, rubbing her belly she says to her unborn baby let's feed you shall we.  
Heading down stairs trying to as quiet as possible not wanting to wake Gary up and wondering if Finn had come back or decided to sleep at the flat either way she needed food and fast even. The baby wouldn't stay still making Rae tummy move and become extra hard.  
As she entered the kitchen only the light from under the kitchen cupboards was on, it was enough to see where Finn sat at the table staring at the tiny converse chloe had given to her for baby.  
Finn slowly turned these are cute and just like yours he slurred.  
He'd obviously been in the pub with chop and Rae rolled her eyes but continued with making herself a toasted sandwich Finn was silent again.  
Penny for your thoughts Rae finally asked and it was like she opened the dam flood gates as Finn unraveled in front of her beer or no beer this was going to hurt Rae braced herself.  
Finn didn't take a breath as he told Rae  
Your my world Rae, and I can't promise I won't mess it all I can't promise you the world I can't give you everything you want, I wanna try again with you I want be yours again Rae do you understand those 7 months I was miserable the only time I left this flat was to go to pub and my dad's everyone had moved on doing there own thing when chop and Izzy announced she was expecting I sat and thought about our baby before I knew how fucked up is that you didn't want me but. I couldn't let go Finn Sobbed and tried to swallow and I don't know what you want your here and I can't reach you, I'm trying to follow your lead I don't want to pressure you but in less then 3 months Rae we will be Mum and Dad not Rae and Finn... He got up and strode across the kitchen to the sink running the cold tap, hearing Rae crying now had broke him he didn't want to hurt her he just didn't know how to be without her.  
Rae sobbing and sniffling placed her hands on his shoulder as he turned around he saw those big brown eyes although not as close as usual he shifted nope no good the baby his baby our baby he placed his hand the bump between them, whispering "I want this to be our forever please"  
As if on cue baby did some womb aerobics reminding Rae her belly was empty.... After kissing Finn hard on the lips she went back to making something to eat and some tea.


	11. Christmas present.

Rae decided to sleep next to Finn that night in his bed that smelt like she'd come home, nestled in beside him his hand resting on there bump.

Rae woke to find Finn gone a note left beside what was now a cold mug of tea,   
Rae be back 3pm to take you over to your mums don't go outside its really slippy.   
Love Finn   
X

Looking at the clock she'd slept in again it was now 10.30am she decided to shower eat, finish wrapping presents and then straighten the guest bedroom, to use as storage as she was now sleeping in Finns bed once it was done she decided to clean Finns room and do some washing thinking to herself what is wrong with me I hate cleaning. 

Rae needed to book in with a midwife whilst she was here for her usual checks, she'd found her midwifes number on the notes she was told to take every wear... She had said he needed blood test and they would possibly listen in to baby the midwife organised her appointment at he told GP the following Monday, great Rae knew she'd been neglecting her studies and needed to finish 4.modules before she had the baby meaning the next 11 weeks would be spent trying to juggle uni moving into the flat and sorting out everything she would need for baby Earl/Nelson to arrive she hoped she didn't go over like her mum her mum had given her birth story in. Detail in her previous email and Rae didn't want to be reminded but her mum had said she was 10 days late and bigger than average at 9lb 7oz

Finn collected her just before 3pm helping her with the bag of Xmas presents, walking. Behind her incase she slipped Rae tried to bat him away he was making her nervous.   
Walking up to the front door of the house she had lived in all her life Brough little relief it was the house her dad had left, the place she grew up fighting with her mum and the array of men (friends) and that night where she'd gone to far got relief and cut her leg to deep and her mum had found her losing blood slumped on her bed they'd never really talked about it but she knew it had scared and worried her mum, placing her hands on the door frame to compose herself Finn wrapped his hand around her waist and said ready? They both took a deep breath as opened the door. 

Linda was out of her chair like a shot, striding over Jazz who was sat on the floor surrounded by cushions and toys, Linda had never been so happy to see Rae and her tears came without warning after hugs and kisses on cheeks and coats being hung up, Linda watched as rae. Lowered herself onto the sofa as finn slipped onto the floor near to Jazz, pulling faces and playing peek a boo, Linda made them cups of tea and watched as idoliy Rae rubbed her tummy before joining her on the sofa, placing her hand on Rae tummy and rubbing in a circular motion Rae relaxed her mum had always been there and now it was time to show her that her little chicken could be a mum too.   
Linda eyed Finn smiling at them both and Linda pulled away and got up to collect Jazz as she'd started to pull her ear and winge she was tired.   
Once Linda had put jazz upstairs to nap Finn took his cue to go for a smoke whilst Rae filled her in on the plan for going back to Bristol and Finn joining her later once he'd worked his notice, and that chops uncle had some work for Finn leading to a full time job if he proved himself.   
Rae was all of a sudden aware that Karim hadn't even said hello, wheres karim mum,   
Linda clapped her hands and announced hot pot for tea, mum tell me please rae asked.   
He's taken a full time job on a long term contract in Tunisia me and Jazz are only back for Christmas and to sort the house for selling in the new year, Oh was all Rae could say realising her mum was leaving the country when she needed her the most AGAIN.   
The rest of the afternoon was strained and Finn didn't try to fix it he let the elephant in the room just. Sit whilst they ate there hot pot.   
After helping wash and dry the pots Rae made her excuses of being tired and needing to study. Linda hugged her for the 2nd time today Rae didn't relax into her when she whispered in her ear things will work out you will see. 

Finn held Raes hand as they walked up the steps she preferred this to hovering he'd done earlier.   
She told Finn she was going to go read and a catch up on coursework to try and make sure she was ready for those last 4.modules.   
Finn made dinner for everyone a spaghetti recipe his Nan had shown him how to make and it was super simple.   
Leaving it to simmer on the stove he set the table and decided to go and rouse Rae from her study last time he'd checked she had been setting her books out on his bed with a biro in her mouth he'd bowed out and left her to it, that had been 2 hours ago.  
As he walked up the stairs he was listening to see if she was snoring what he heard broke his heart, long hard sobs grabbing the toilet roll he went into bedroom, Rae sobbing uncontrollably into his pillow, he sat on the bed and she leaned into him to be held holding. Onto his flannel shirt like her life depended on it, Finn waited for her to gain her composure again before saying "hormones my dad said you'd cry a lot"   
Rae protested and told Finn what was going on with her Mum, Finn slid off the bed to kneel in front of her "declaring that she had him and Gary and the gang sometimes" she knew he was right. I love you Racheal Earl and this baby and I'm going to be there always you'll be sick of me eventually you'll see.   
Anyway dinners going to ruined I best yeah yeah rae said as Finn left the room.   
Monday morning arrived and she had to remind Finn to. Meet her at doctors he. Nodded and promised. To be on time she got herself dressed and presentable then the quietness was to much so she called Izzy after chatting for.a while decided they'd meet at the cafe nearest to the doctors after the appointment just happened to be. 40.minutes apart.   
Finn arrived with Chop they both looked like startled birds when Rae and Izzy started down the street towards them giggling like nothing in the world mattered both glowing silky haired and that funny waddle both lads sighed before laughing and elbowing each other.   
Finn and Rae heard baby Nelson/Earls heart beat and both let out the stray tear in their eyes Finn went back to. The waiting room whilst raes blood was taken, Izzy lunged at him all arms awwww don't cry Finn it's amazing isn't it chop nodded knowingly it "turning Chop he says it all feels real me and Rae made a baby"   
YUK cried chop laughing.   
So did you and Izzy so shut up.

They left on the promise of meeting in the pub in a few days, Rae asking Izzy to make sure Chloe was there so she could hand out presents. There was only a week till Christmas now and that meant 2 months and a week till baby would be due fuck she thought need to get my modules done. 

Christmas Eve arrived and Rae and Finn was helping Gary in the kitchen preparing the veg and turkey for the dinner tomorrow Gary had insisted that Jazz and Linda come over (no one mentioned that Linda was a Muslim) it was the first time Rae and Finn had been together in 4 days after the delivering of presents in the pub.   
They had both been busy Rae trying to read as much as possible and Finn working extra shifts to save enough for him to support them both during the 1st few months.   
Moving around the kitchen Finn notices how Raes movements had slowed he told her to sit down but she insisted on helping finish the prep for dinner before going to. Sit in the lounge with her tea.   
As the room was dark when she woke Rae couldn't tell what time it was but she needed to pee, climbing over Finn had been fun Not holding her bump and the headboard she finally righted herself Finn groaned but didn't wake.   
As she went on to the landing she could her bing Crosby singing and Gary singing along with it out of tune she smiled thinking she was so lucky to be part of Gary and Finns world she knew she was safe for the first time in her life she felt like she belonged, after using the loo she  
She grabbed Finns dressing gown and made her way down stairs the bump now poking out the dressing gown she gave up trying to cover it now, she found Gary in the kitchen wishing him a Merry Christmas she set about making Tea for the 3 of them, as Finn walked into the kitchen announcing he was was freezing, looking up he saw rae wrapped in his dressing gown he could help but smile at the very very round bump poking through.  
Rae excused herself to go and dress and fetch the Christmas presents from the spare room.  
Finn appeared at the door she turned to see her favourite smile of his Merry Christmas girl he said leaning forward to kiss her on the cheek Merry Christmas Finley she laughed back.... He reached out to her belly before kneeling down to kiss her belly and wishing baby Nelson a merry Christmas. Rae ruffled his hair and said come on presents.  
Rae had felt awful for only buying Finn a new flannel. Shirt and a vinyl but he was thrilled as the vinyl was the live version from knebworth with noel gallagher plectrum pushed into a cut out in the corner. Finn had given her a small red rectangular box with a ribbon wrapped delicately around it, inside was his grandma's necklace with the small cut diamond set into a pendent it was beautiful rae could feel the adoration of both Nelson men as Finn fastened the clasp around her neck brushing her neck with his warm fingers, she blushed and nodded to Gary who nodded back.  
During lunch Rae and Finn was subjected to the woes of their parents Rae's mum telling Gary Rae had been a beautiful big baby and Gary explaining that Finn was also big and beautiful, rae rolled her eyes and carried in spooning mashed carrot into Jazz's open baby bird like mouth, Christmas had never felt so easy for all of them.  
After a long afternoon of laughing and far too much food Rae found herself elbow deep in hot water washing the pots from earlier needing some space and quiet shed just finished when Finn popped his head around asking what she was doing, huffing that she shouldn't of done it he'd of helped his Dad later she through the tea towel at him saying he could finish off.  
Rae said her goodbyes to her mum and Jazz, and agreed to attend Mrs dewhursts turkey buffet on boxing day.

Finn had worked between Christmas and New year whilst rae studied and wrote essay after essay.  
News years Eve had been a quiet affair of Linda Gary Finn Rae and Jazz having dinner and going to the common to watch the firework display at midnight.  
Rae and Finn had been growing close laying in bed talking for hours so his arms around her waist resting on her bump was comforting "he whispered in her ear" I love you miss earl"   
She turned her to. Reach his mouth before whispering "I love you to Mr Nelson"   
He was her forever she just didn't know how to accept it.


	12. Finns home.

Moving into new flat after Christmas had not been fun, Finn and Chop had spent hours moving furniture and bringing in boxes, they'd Brought some of Finns stuff to even though it was 6 weeks till he moved to Bristol to wait for there baby to be born.  
It still didn't feel right and Rae couldn't stop messing with the dam curtain tie backs in the living room, Finn reached for her hand asking if she was going to be ok till he came back for the weekend in 2 weeks she kinda shrugged and said of course she had Loads of uni work to be getting on with and unpacking she also had to sit a 2 hour exam at the end of February to complete the 1st year of her course. She was going to have to not drinking anything for 2 days prior no way could she sit unable to use the toilet for 2 hours.  
Letting out a sigh Finn kissed her gently but deeply, she told him she would call soon as the line was connected Monday, kissing again they heard a car horn being beeped again, Chop was ready to get back home to Izzy and make sure baby Peters stayed put a little longer Izzy was getting worn out and fed up.  
As Finn walked down the stairs to the flat Rae shouted I love you Mr Earl, love you to mrs Nelson, Rae smiled she liked the sound of that.  
The weeks that followed was all work no play, Chloe came to visit with the news of her engagement and Rae felt bad they couldn't celebrate properly, she'd stayed the night before excusing herself with promises she'd be back in a few weeks.  
Archie had called on and of quoting the same line every blood time to Rae and Finn's annoyance "no baby yet?"   
Rae studies was drawing to a close her exam was Wednesday and Finn would be coming back for good no more late night phone calls or caramacs in the post. With only a week left before her due date Rae hadn't realised how fed up she was of actually being pregnant her body ached in places she. Didn't. Know it could the sickness had returned and she didn't think she'd slept more than 2 hours a night for the last 3 weeks everything was just to much.   
Standing outside the exam hall with just her thoughts for company she thought about how next year would really be with a baby and flat, but she had to do it to make sure she could always be there for her baby, rubbing her belly she entered the exam hall took her place at the scratched desk., she'd revised everything and wa pleased she seemed to know what she needed to write.   
When the examiner spoke again she was aware she'd been lost in the questions that was a good sign, next year depended on her getting the marks.   
She left the exam hall and headed to the flat, stopping at the tesco express to grab some caramacs and bottle of water.   
Nearing the flat she could see Gary Nelson car parked on the curb outside the front door, she hurried panicking thinking the worse the best and then that he didn't have a key where was he?   
Opening her front door she heard Finn first and then Gary laughing she let the door shut itself making a loud bang even she jumped, there was shuffling upstairs as she took the the steps slowly and one at a time using the banister to pull herself up. On entering the livingroom Rae looked from Finn to Gary both looking smug What Rae asked Finn grabbed her hand and pulled her towards there bedroom, on the wall facing there bed was a beautiful white sleigh cot, with a brand new mattress still in the plastic wrapping, a small mobile with elephants tightly secure to the side, Gary appeared Rae still hadn't spoken when he said it was our Finns cot thought it might help, in that moment tears leaked from all there eyes no words was spoken until Gary announced he would put the kettle on.   
Finn holding Raes hand asked what she thought she only managed beautiful before Finn kissed her rubbing his hand over her bump "leaning down to whisper can't wait to meet you" rae ruffled his hair and told him to help his dad she'd be right out.   
One hand on her solid bump the other running her fingers along the smooth paint of the cot before wondering how long she would have to wait the doctor would see her a week from her due date if she hasn't delivered by then, her due date was tomorrow so in the next 2 weeks she would become a Mum Rae the mum Wow just wow.   
Finn and Gary left around 5.30pm and Finn was almost ready to just not bother he only had 48 hours left in stamford and Gary reminded him he needed to finish packing and say some good byes.   
Rolling his eyes he kissed Rae and left.   
Having slept most of the day Friday Rae decided in the evening to check her emails and organise the babies every growing mountain of stuff, ticking off the list of things she needed for baby she was pleased she had everything on the list and lots extra thanks to chloe and Archie and the black bin liner that had been given to her by her mum. Of jazz's. Old things. 

Finn was in the Swan pub for the last time at least till he visited next, Chop had met him for a quick pint knowing Finn understood why he needed to get back to Izzy, giving each other a proper hug they said see you later rather than goodbye.   
As Finn walked towards the chippy he decided to grab some chips before he walked home to watch crap TV with his Dad for the last time he'd been staying with his Dad since he'd handed the keys over for his flat so he could save money the deposit he'd got back had paid for the pram him and Rae had chosen, he smiled at the argument over buying a black pram.   
The chippy was the place hed first realised Rae was going be his after the run in with Big G for giving her shit outside he'd never felt the need to punch anyone before in his entire life.   
Walking through the front door his Dad was bringing the last 3 boxes and a few bags from Finn's bedroom, looking up he spots Finn and says "you ready for this"  
"i don't think I've ever been ready for something as much as I'm. Ready for this"  
Gary nodded and went over to hug Finn. The phone rang and Gary made himself scarce.   
Hi Rae  
Ello Finn  
Ermm just wondering if you'd packed babylon spaceman lp?   
They both laugh but Finn can feel something serious coming.   
Are you absolutely sure you want this Finn I don't want you to feel like I'm. Trapping you.  
Rae for fuck sake don't start this shit again I'm. Stood in the hallway surrounded by boxes I'll be there about mid day tomorrow.   
Sniffling from down the phone made Finn's heart, he says outs load only a few more hours mae and I'll be there.   
Just wait for me.   
Finn put the phone down and sighed hoping after tomorrow she wouldn't question his intentions any longer, going to Rae was going home no matter where she was. 

Rae looked around at the already tidy flat and plumped the cushions again she'd been awake a lot peeing and eating caramacs not at the same time, but she was running on nervous energy now this was it Finn was coming to live with her this was more than she ever dreamed and she was going to give him a baby and a family she believed they both missed out on growing up at 12.15 she was wondering if Finn had changed his mind, her bladder twitched sitting in the bathroom she heard the front door bang open rushing to right her clothes and wash her hands as she opened the bathroom door meeting Finn in the hallway he pulled her into the closest embrace they could manage with Raes now might bump, "honey I'm home" Finn meaning it.   
Gary interrupted shouting up oi Finny get your arse down here and help me bring this stuff in and Rae put the kettle on those service stations aren't a patch on your cuppas.   
They parted Rae loved being around both Nelson men they Brought her a belonging.


	13. It's time...

Saturday evening Rae and Finn walked to the chip shop to get dinner after Gary had left....walking back eating as they walked nipping into local shop to collect milk bread and bacon for breakfast and caramacs, both feeling deflated that Raes due date was about pass with No baby.  
Sunday morning was spent in bed, Rae had woken early with an itch that need scratching, she stirred Finn from his sleep almost begging him but having sex was going to prove difficult for the sheer size of Raes bump and the fact she couldn't get comfortable he used his fingers to give her what she needed and she groaned under neath his hand her body very quickly readying for orgasm but Finn longed to be inside her moaning her name, Rae uncomfortably raised herself onto all fours so Finn could slide into her he was so tentative but RAE was frustrated and needed him he picked up pace but still gentle, she was nearing her orgasm when Finn grabbed her hips and sped up without going to deep even tho he wanted to push his growing orgasm deep into her he knew he couldn't, as Raes leg started to shake he knew she was getting close and he would be her release even tho his own was no hurting to hold back, with one last thrust into her holding her hips at arms length they came both screaming each others names as well as other expletives.  
Finn fell to the side as Rae knelt up stretching her top risen her bump looking heavy Finn couldn't help but putting his hand onto it tracing circles on it like he'd seen Linda do, baby moved out causing Rae to jump a little, Finn laughed looks like baby is ticklish like you.  
They lay in bed taking it in turns to get drinks food and use the bathroom. The phone had rang. So many times that they had got bored of people asking if baby was here yet all except Linda who had telephoned to say the house had sold and soon as the contracts was signed and money transferred she was going to be leaving for Tunisia but said she would visit before she left.  
Exhausted Rae decided to have a shower her back ached like never before she put it down to being in bed pretty much the whole day, turning the shower on her back throbbed, she lifted her leg to climb into the tub but as she did she felt a warm gush gown her legs... Shouting Fuck loud enough for Finn to hear he shot out of the bed and skidded. Into the bathroom looking at Rae in desperation noticing she was stood in a puddle,  
Rae raee is tha that your waters??  
Nodding Rae leaned back onto the sink asking Finn to get her the biggest pants and sweatpants he could find and a t shirt, she threw some towels on the floor to soak up the waters she'd expelled.... She really wasn't ready for this Finn reappeared handing her the clothes and scooping the towels off the floor and leaving Rae to get dressed whilst he dragged her hospital bag notes out from airing. Cupboard at the top of the stairs, Rae waddled out of the bathroom trying to get her breath saying it hurts, Finn was by her side in an instant but she swatted him away saying phone a taxi please.  
He did as he was told as Rae moved the hospital bag to the doorway checking the cooker was switched off and the fridge was fully closed.  
As another pain took her breath Finn asked what he could do and again was swatted away he just hovered then till they heard the Taxi beeping outside.  
He asked Rae are you ready to meet our baby she's nodded and questioned back are you?  
Finn nodded picked up the bag and notes taking Raes hand and heading out to the taxi.  
Arriving at the hospital they ask Finn to wait outside so they examine Rae.... It feels like hours when it's only minutes in reality, they finally send someone to get him, walking in Rae has a tube stuffed in get mouth breathing like she's darth vader, Finn looks st the midwife for a clue, gas and air love helps with the pain. Rae is glaring at Finn and he can feel the hate radiating off her, fuck what had he done to beautiful Rae the babies heart rate is beating away on the monitor at her side, the. Midwife keeping a watchful eye on it... Finn moves up the side of the bed holding out his hand she intertwines her fingers into his squeezing and hard and breathing gas so deeply its making a whistling noise, eventually the contraction slips away again and she removes the gas and air long enough, I hate you Finn Nelson you did this to me, before laughing and saying I need some of this shit at home waving he gas and air tube in her hand, she asks Finn for water she drinks it only to instantly be sick over the side of the bed just missing Finns shoes, before she can apologise another contraction rips through her body..... The midwife looks to finn before saying she's just going to get a doctor to take a look...  
Rae finally coming to from the painful contraction said is she getting a doctor?  
Finn nodded thinking he is shit and has no words she's in so much pain how could he do this to her.  
The doctor came in and ushered Finn out, he decided to look for a telephone before he'd managed to drop the 20p in the midwife was handing him blue scrubs that looked like pjs and telling him to put them on and wait here, next thing he's sitting beside a pink faced rae in an operating theatre, the midwife had nipped out and explained Rae needed a cesarean and Finn couldn't help but wonder why she needed a salad. But never said anything.  
All the machines beeping was terrifying and he never took his eyes off Rae as they talked through the process, he stokes Raes head as they tell her they are about to start, then they explain that they are nearly there and she may feel some tugging if it hurts to let them know, Finn is shell shocked looking at Rae fuck he knew she was strong but this next level strong. As he gazed up she whispered through the oxygen mask I Love you, as the sheet in front of them was lowered as the doctor lifted baby into the air baby gave a small screech before crying and turning pink very pink. Finn and Rae was looking to each other then the baby, both not sure what is really happening, the midwife calls Finn over to cut babies and cord he squeals out loud it's a girl rae she's a girl out little girl!   
Finn takes a seat back next to Rae they hand him the most precious bundle of blankets ever and he tips them so Rae can kiss there baby girl she looks at him and tears run down both their faces. Finn is ushered out whilst they clean baby up and fix up Raes tummy. They tell him to get some tea and go back to the room. They was in before, he passes the pay phone so standing there in blue scrubs and net hat including he dials his Dad's number.... It rings and rings before Finn realises it's after midnight Gary answers but Finn still hasn't found his voice... All Gary hears is it's a girl da before Finn puts the phone down to find tea tea makes everything better but he wasn't sure anything could get any better. He got a daughter a baby girl.   
Heading back to the room he sees them pushing his baby girl in what looks like a fish tank with no lid covered in purple and green blankets.   
Walking into the room he sees Rae beautiful smile as she looks at him and says we did it, looking down he sees the tiny pink baby resting against Raes breast nuzzling away. He just stands before a midwife asks if he wants her to show him how to dress baby he nods, rae is dozing as the midwife talks him through the nappy and the vest and the baby grow and babys hat, but finally Finn speaks she's got Raven hair like you Rae, as he places the pink hate with a duck on to her tiny head, he lifts her gently from the fish tank and walks towards the window in the room looking and drinking her in he never thought he could love anyone as much as he did Rae but this was another type of love that made his soul ache. Putting his finger in her clenched fist he turned to Rae who was watching through sleepy eyes, realising it was the middle of the night he told Rae to sleep and he would stay in the chair, listening for baby who he had placed into her fish tank.


	14. Forever.

Finn stayed awake all night, he'd helped place baby onto  Raes chest when she was hungry he'd changed her and held her close, he'd stroked Raes hair as she fed there baby and he'd told Rae how strong she was and he'd never ever believe otherwise and he he was the luckiest man alive apart from his Dad who was about to gain not only a grand daughter but a daughter in law, Marry me Rae please... Stroking his face she said yes before rolling her eyes to stop herself from crying.

When Gary Linda and Jazz arrived at the hospital the following morning, Archie was stood waiting to show them to Raes room they walked in silence.  
Rae was still in bed but doing great Finn was hovering around her whilst she finished feeding baby, whilst everyone commented on how beautiful both mum and baby looked it was Archie who notices Finns Grans engagement ring on Raes finger and squeals in delight oooo I love weddings, Rae and Finn smiled and Gary hugged Linda and Jazz and welcomed them to the family.  
The boys left to get tea and Finn found the hospital shop choosing a balloon with Its a girl on it with a picture of a Teddy bear he paid for that and the caramac.

Linda had snuggled the baby all she could with a wriggling Jazz but it had chnaged her holding her her first grand daughter, she was a grandma, this love was like that of a parents but sweeter and pailed into the love she had for Rae her Little chicken had baby chick all of her own now. Linda handed Rae an envelope whilst kissing her on the for head.   
The boys came bundling back in Finns chest puffed ouf like a peacock carrying his balloons, slipping past linda he offered Rae the caramac her face was the funniest he'd seen all day as she vehemntly denied that she didn't like them everyone laughed and Rae winced as her stitches pulled, Finn was staying a bit longer but Linda was off to the airport and Gary had offered to drive them to save the Taxi fair. Archie kissed everyone before leaving the adorable fucker whispering to Finn "youve got it all mate"  
Whilst Rae slept Finn opened the card from his Dad Linda and Archie all congratulating them both on the birth of there daughter. He found the envelope Linda had given Rae on the floor he pulled his finger through crease before pulling out a note that read.  
" to my little chicken I wish you and Finn the best in life and I'm always your mum. Please use it wisely I trust you both to make the right decisions together. Stay strong. Love always mum in the envelope was a cheque for £65,000 pound, Finn gently shook Rae awake reading the note bleary eyed she asked what her mum was on about Finn handed her the cheque her jaw swinging open. They had everything, each other a beautiful baby girl, friends, love and now money! It doesn't make the world better but it would help them in there new journey together.  
Rae asked to be wheeled to the telephone later that day to call chloe there was no answer and she felt a pang of guilt knowing about chloes abortion, but Rae needed her to know she was still her best friend and she'd be her when she was ready she said as much to the answer machine.  
She got Finn to dial chops number, a tired sounding chop answered Raemondo what can I do for you Izzy is still in hospital but she will call when she gets home I'm sure, is everything OK with her raes voice edging up a knot Chop says we had a baby boy just after midnight last night both of them are doing fine, Rae stuttered the words baby boy and Finn snatched the phone "go on chop lad" but guess what we had a baby girl just after midnight too, although Raes had a ceserean but she's doing great never seen anything like it in my life. Yeah yeah I'll tell Rae see you soon yeah course I'll email pics soon as I can.  
Finn told Rae Izzy had delivered a baby boy and that they was both well and that Izzy had done it with no drugs Brave bitch thought Rae.  
Gary arrived back waving a disposable camera and started to assault there eyes with the flash as he took photos promising to drop it at a chemist that night so they could collect ASAP.  
Finn waved to his Dad as he entered the flat hoping to sleep a little before going back to the hospital to do another night on baby watch she was easy to watch her tiny pink fingers and her tiny button nose and her perfect little ears and all that Raven hair like her mum.

Rae spent the time Finn was at home asleep or should be asleep cradling there new born, settling singing her soft lullabys and stroking her face, she couldn't actually believe she'd grown this beautiful baby and although inside she wasn't ready for this responsibility she knew that she would be OK because her baby girl needed her and they both needed Finn.

The stamford times,

Congratulations to Racheal & Finn on the safe arrival  of  
Raven Alice Nelson  
Born 2nd March 1999  
Weighing 8lb 3oz  
With lots of love Gary, Linda, Karim, Jazz and the Gang. X x x

 

Congratulations to Isabelle and Arnold on the safe arrival of  
Arran Arnold Peters.   
Born 2nd March 1999  
Weight 6lb 9oz   
With lots of love   
Mike, Sarah and kids, Sharon, Daniel and family and the gang x x x

Alice was Finns nans name it meant more then Rae would ever know, his gran told him to follow his heart and that's exactly what Finn had done.


End file.
